Problem Seinfeld

> Next.

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 13:47:43 -0400

You’re going to kill him.

> Be FUTURE (PRESENT) HYSTERICAL ELAINE

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 13:15:00 -0400

PROBLEM SEINFELD isn’t answering the phone. Your HYSTERIA GAUGE is rising.

> Next.

> Be PAST HYSTERICAL ELAINE

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 13:08:00 -0400

Oh. It seems you and ACE GEORGE got into a physical altercation at the diner. He was probably being an insufferable prick.

> Be FUTURE (PRESENT) HYSTERICAL ELAINE

> Be HYSTERICAL ELAINE

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:33:00 -0400

You are HYSTERICAL ELAINE. You are trapped in jail. You are about to go into a fit of hysterics.

You could really use that one phone call but there’s no answer.

How did you get into this situation in the first place, anyway?

> Be PAST HYSTERICAL ELAINE

> Answer the phone.

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:29:00 -0400

You can’t answer the phone! It should be right here on the coffee table… who could have taken it? This plotline is starting to feel rather familiar…

Oh well, the call’s probably nothing important.

> Be the caller.

> Quickly retrieve arms from shelf.

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:25:00 -0400

You’ve already got arms, numbnuts!

If you meant a gun, you could ask HYSTERICAL ELAINE. Actually that episode was scrapped. Guess you’re shit outta luck.

> Answer the phone.

PROBLEM SEINFELD

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:10:00 -0400

You are an average New Yorker trying to make it in the Comedy Business. You are starring in a comic about nothing. It seems to be catching on. Pretty much nothing is going on right now.

What will you do?

> Quickly retrieve arms from shelf.